


make me some hot choco

by punctualpizza



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, I Tried, I tried to write fluff, M/M, This is fluff, and deep in my feels, and for my showhyung nation thanks, because i got emo, handjobs blowjobs but not so graphic, hope u enjoy, hyungwon wants to kiss hyunwoo, i write for fun purposes, if that makes sense, just random popcorn throwing, minor smut warnings, the whole hanging out all the time fluff, they support each other, this is random
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 12:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14569119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punctualpizza/pseuds/punctualpizza
Summary: Hyungwon likes Hyunwoo and Hyunwoo likes Hyungwon. Now, that's not so hard, right?





	make me some hot choco

**Author's Note:**

> so i have been slacking, i apologize and i have been really emo because i got sick so here's a fluff because i got too deep in my feels i hope u enjoy <33

Hyungwon has an idea what this feeling is, even if he isn’t quite ready to put a name to it yet.

He suspects something is off when Hyunwoo makes him laugh so hard he chokes down on the spicy kimchi stew they were having and lets it rumble uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach. When he’s hanging over the porcelain of the toilet bowl an hour later, waiting for the food to come back up, he has a fleeting thought that maybe it wasn’t the food that was making him nauseous after all.

He chooses to blame it on the dance practicing and the upcoming performances for their comeback.

What it comes down to is this: Hyunwoo makes him laugh. Hyunwoo makes him feel good and funny and needed. Because as much as Hyungwon wants Shownu to notice him, Hyungwon suspects that Hyunwoo wants to be around him as well. Hyungwon doesn’t know if Hyunwoo’s actually gotten sick—and he never does—over just how much he wants to be around Hyungwon, but at least he knows he actually matters to Hyunwoo. That helps.

Whenever they have to walk somewhere, Hyungwon tries his best not to show how much he wants to stride up next to Hyunwoo, or hang back until they’re walking side to side. Hyungwon doesn’t keep track of how many times Hyunwoo walks next to him, even though he desperately wants Hyunwoo to stay by his side. He doesn’t count the number of times Hyunwoo places his hand on his back, or gives him a little push once in a while. He enjoys the amount of skin ship that Hyunwoo involuntarily does to him, probably seen as bullying but only seen as intimacy in Hyungwon’s eyes.

But the others like bullying him too, and Hyunwoo also likes it when Minhyuk curls his arms around Hyunwoo, so it could be nothing.

It’s probably nothing.

Hyungwon’s just being needy again, hoping for every scrap of his best hyung’s attention. He’s getting his hopes up again, though he’s not really sure what he’s hopeful for. Hyungwon just wants Hyunwoo to think he’s as great as Hyungwon thinks Hyunwoo is.

 

* * *

 

“You two act like a married couple,” Wonho says, before stuffing a spoonful of rice in his mouth.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hyunwoo replies, cutting Hyungwon’s chicken into smaller pieces instead of having him forcing the whole drumstick inside his mouth—like he has done in one of their live broadcasts before.

“I swear to god, Hyungwon needs to stop being lazy all the god damn time,” Kihyun says, but Hyungwon can tell he’s nagging jokingly. Well, at least Hyungwon doesn’t care enough to think that Kihyun’s serious.

Kihyun’s nags do not work on him anymore. He’s already grown immune.

Hyunwoo looks over to Hyungwon, who’s still rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. Hyunwoo giggles in response, and slides over his plate back to where it’s supposed to be. Hyungwon groans and glares at Kihyun.  

“But I’m tired,” he fake-whines, opening his mouth as if he were waiting for Hyunwoo to actually spoon-feed him. Hyunwoo looks at a Kihyun with a small grin, before feeding Hyungwon a spoon of rice and chicken. While Hyunwoo laughed heartily, Hyungwon smiled and has to remind himself to breathe for a brief moment.

“Well, no duh you’re tired. We were all busy with our schedules, and of course the two of you ran away to an escape room. Again. Like, how come you and I never have our off days together?” Kihyun rolls his eyes, bitter words leaving his mouth leaving everyone else in the room stifling their laughter.

“Yah, hyung. I think we all have some days off together but those two tend to go on dates whenever they have the chance to. Hyungwon doesn’t even eat spicy food while Hyunwoo hyung enjoys spicy tons!” Changkyun finds himself siding with Kihyun. Of course.

“Yah, that’s why it’s nice. I take some of his, and he takes some of mine. We’ll hang out next time, okay?” Hyunwoo interferes and answers before the nagging goes any further.

Hyungwon on the other hand, well—he wasn’t even listening on what the others were saying.

Hyunwoo laughing was one of his favourite things in the whole world. His plum lips, a dark pink and Hyungwon has never been so fascinated by a person’s mouth—smile and laugh—before.

Hyungwon thinks to himself in his drowsy state, if Hyunwoo’s a good kisser. How he’d react if Hyungwon just kissed him out of nowhere. His mind flipping through endless possibilities playing like a series he’d binge watch. A heated kiss, a hard shove, a cold silence, an awkward conversation. Hyungwon doesn’t think about kissing someone often, but with Hyunwoo, it’s the first time he’s not quite sure what the outcome would be.

 

* * *

 

Hyungwon pads out the room quietly on his way to the kitchen. It’s cold in the house, and his woolen socks are helping him a lot. He feels a bit disproportionate though, all boxer briefs, a large hoodie that probably belonged to Hyunwoo or Hoseok and socks. He should’ve put on some pants if he was cold but he guessed he wasn’t that smart.

He rounds into the kitchen, but he stops short when he sees a familiar shape standing by the kettle. He flicks the light on, and tries not to grin when Hyunwoo spins around, frightened.

“Hyungwon,” Hyunwoo breathes out, and Hyungwon lets himself chuckle instead of freaking out at how lovely his name came out of those lips, so beautifully. “What are you doing up, Won? Saw you sleeping just a while earlier.”

Hyungwon shrugs, and then shuffles over to the middle part of the kitchen, where he perches on a stool. He bats his eyes at Hyunwoo. “Are you making hot chocolate?”

Hyunwoo grins, and rolls his eyes knowingly. “Yes,” he says. “I’m guessing you would like me to make you a cup.”

Hyungwon grins and nods, his cheeks on full blast.

Hyunwoo moves to the cabinet where the mugs live and digs one out. He reaches towards the back, finding the one he knows Hyungwon likes, the one with the cute turtles on it, probably given by a fan. For some reason, this small display makes Hyungwon feel better. Hyunwoo is paying attention, he tells himself. Hyunwoo remembers his favorite mug. That has to mean something.

Hyungwon doesn’t say anything, just watches as Hyunwoo puts three spoons of chocolate powder and a small amount of sweetened milk into the mug and turns to watch the kettle again.

Sometimes he can’t help but stare at the bright spot that is Son Hyunwoo, but moments like now are his favorite. Hyunwoo's all sleep rumpled, with hair plastered off to the side and a little shadow of stubble marking his jaw. His sweatpants are sitting low on his hips, a fact Hyungwon tries hard not to think about, and his bare feet slapped cold against the tiled floor.

Hyungwon likes all of Hyunwoo, knows that’s what it is, knows what it means, and needs to do everything in his power to make Hyunwoo feel that way too. Hyungwon’s too used to getting the things he wants.

The kettle starts to whistle, and Hyunwoo hastily pulls it off the burner before it starts making too much noise. Hyungwon’s grateful—he doesn’t want anyone else interrupting this moment right now.

Hyunwoo passes the mug to Hyungwon, and he reaches to take it, letting his fingertips curl around Hyunwoo’s. He doesn’t pull away quickly, gives it a moment before sliding his hand away and turning to grab his own mug.

Hyungwon feels his own mind race with possibilities. He’s aware of how he wants to crowd into Hyunwoo and invade his space, but he’s never felt the tension quite this strong. The opportunity to actually kiss Hyunwoo hadn’t presented itself, not really, or at least not since Hyungwon may have realized that’s part of what he wanted from Hyunwoo. But here they were, alone and calm, and Hyungwon wonders if his heart could beat any faster. Did people actually die from sexual tension? Hyungwon doesn’t think that is the way he wants to go. He needs to get some gratification out of this.

Hyungwon’s eyes are wide when he makes eye contact with his hyung. Hyungwon’s not sure he could turn his face into something calmer if he tried. It makes him feel better though that Hyunwoo’s clearly anxious about something too.

Hyungwon sighs. If he’s going to die from these feelings, he should at least be honest.

“Do you think about what Hoseok hyung said this morning?” he asks quietly. He hopes Hyunwoo heard him, because he doesn’t want to repeat it.

“Hoseok? Tired of our dance practice but insists on making it a gym session? Or wait, was it the coupons he got for the nearest chicken place? Which one?” Hyunwoo asks. He’s not making eye contact, his index finger trailing around the rim of his mug, but Hyungwon doesn’t feel too bad about it, and it’s cute because he has that small pout whenever he’s thinking long and hard about something.

“About us. Being a married couple. Do you, um,” Hyungwon looks down at his hot chocolate. He can’t remember the last time he was actually shy in expressing interest in someone. He’s usually all cheek and winks, charming people effortlessly. But he’s never been as invested and unsure about someone else’s feeling as he is with Hyunwoo.

No one else has ever been Hyunwoo. “Do you think we should be, like, together? Since we act like a married couple.”

Hyunwoo’s eyes flick up to his and Hyungwon has to catch his breath for a second. He was stupid to think this was anything other than what it is.

Hyunwoo nods, and Hyungwon lets the hope swell up inside him.

“Yeah, I thought about it. Enjoyed the idea, honestly.” he says slowly.

Hyungwon nods. “Good. Yeah, that’s, that’s good.”

They sit in silence for a beat.

“And how long have you, uh—felt like that? Have you thought about this?” Hyungwon asks before taking a sip of his drink. He almost wishes he was drinking something cooler. He already feels flushed without adding to it.

“A bit,” Hyunwoo confesses. “You didn’t say what you thought though. Do you think...?” he trails off. Hyungwon can’t believe Hyunwoo even has to ask.

“More than anything,” he says.

“You never said anything before though,” Hyunwoo points out. Hyungwon likes when they get like this, speaking in things only they knew about. They get each other so well that he doesn’t need full sentences to understand Hyunwoo.

Hyungwon shrugs. “Neither did you.”

Hyunwoo shrugs too, but smiles that cute smile of his. Hyungwon feels the tension melt away a bit. That’s good. Hyunwoo likes him, likes him differently than he likes the other boys. He likes him in a way that scares him a little bit, with its intensity.

“So let’s be together, then, if you want to.” Hyungwon says, like it’s the most natural thought in the world.

“Is it that easy?” Hyunwoo asks, his eyebrows raising a bit. “I mean, is it okay?”

Hyungwon smirks a little, which turns into a toothy grin, and cocks his head to the right. “Why, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you weren’t even interested in me.”

Hyunwoo chuckles. “You already know I am,” he says, laughing, and Hyungwon decides he doesn’t want to wait any longer.

He hooks his sock-clad feet on the top rung of his stool, and leans over the island until he’s close enough to pull Hyunwoo in. It’s not the most comfortable position, but Hyungwon just has to know what kind of kisser Hyunwoo is.

Hands braced on the countertop, Hyungwon leans his long body as far as he can to sweetly peck Hyunwoo’s lips. Hyunwoo doesn’t lean any further in, but then Hyungwon feels a hand slide around to the back of his neck to hold him there. It’s chaste, dry, no tongue, though Hyungwon is already thinking about slipping it in. He feels that familiar kick behind his ribs, and he knows that’s Hyunwoo’s fault. He thinks about how much he wanted this, wants this, and how lucky he is in just about every area of his life.

Hyungwon wants to get closer, wants to take the kiss deeper, but when he tries to arch the upper half of his body closer, his feet slip and he kicks the stool to the floor with a loud clatter. Hyunwoo springs back from him, leaving Hyungwon stranded and sprawled across the counter.

“Fuck,” Hyunwoo laughs, looking to where the stool is on the floor.

Hyungwon’s forehead drops to the marble as his body shakes with the laughter that wants to escape him.

“What’s all this? Oh, you two,” comes a familiar voice from the doorway. Hyungwon looks up to see Changkyun standing there, complete with bathrobe and headphones, watching the two of them with fond exasperation. Hyungwon’s body is star fished across the counter and Hyunwoo is laughing his breath away, both of them with stars in their eyes.

“Sorry Changkyun-ah,” Hyungwon says, when he thinks he can do it without laughing. He’s still smirking a bit, though. “We’re off to bed.” He shimmies off the counter and puts the stool back in place. Changkyun looks dubiously at him, then Hyunwoo. He must decide it’s not worth pushing, though, since he just shakes his head, laughs, and leaves the living area.

Hyunwoo puts the half-drunk hot chocolate in the sink, vowing to take care of it in the morning. Hyungwon knows he won’t and Kihyun might nag about it in the morning. They walk silently back to their shared room with a snoring Wonho in bed. Hyungwon moves to climb up his bunk, and tries not to worry what Hyunwoo would do. Will he say goodnight like usual? Will he want to continue making out? Will he ignore this altogether? Hyungwon’s not sure which answer he wants. All he knows is that Hyunwoo wants him in some way, which is already the best thing he’s ever heard.

Hyungwon peeks downstairs a bit to see Hyunwoo sliding into his own bed, giving him a quick smile before turning over. Hyungwon turns around to face the wall as well, drawing the blankets up so no one can witness the grin that’s plastered on his face.

 

* * *

 

It’s 5 AM but Hyungwon’s wide awake. His stomach is acting up again, lurching all over the place. It feels like he’s about to go on stage, but better, because he has an idea of what it means now. He’s sure he probably won’t be able to fall back asleep. His brain’s going a million miles a minute, mostly replaying his brief kiss with Hyunwoo the night before. He sits up in his bed and peeks down again to where Hyunwoo’s bed is.

Hyungwon can’t hold back the grin when he sees that Hyunwoo is awake, too, and scrolling through his phone.

He clears his throat quietly, but doesn’t say anything, and smiles when Hyunwoo turns his head and notices he’s awake. “Couldn’t sleep,” Hyungwon whispers, and it’s as much to himself as it is to Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo gives him a close-lipped smile, and Hyungwon sees his eyes crinkling despite the early hour. Neither of them must have gotten much sleep at all. Their voices will probably pay for it, but Hyungwon can’t really be bothered to care right now.

Hyunwoo nods over to the doorway, and Hyungwon scrambles to get there without waking a still snoring Hoseok. They sneak into the hallway, Hyunwoo closing the door behind them as slowly and quietly as possible, waiting for the soft click that tells them its shut.

Hyunwoo turns and gives Hyungwon another smile before crowding him into the wall right outside their bedroom and kissing him again. Hyungwon is taken by surprise but let’s himself savor it this time. While last night Hyungwon had been the one to initiate it, he thinks that there might not be anything better than Hyunwoo on a mission. Particularly when that mission is kissing Hyungwon.

Hyungwon tilts his head to the left and pushes forward, challenging the other man as Hyunwoo’s arms are braced on the wall on either side of his head, so Hyungwon lets his hands wander on to Hyunwoo’s upper back. Hyungwon wants another point of contact.

He’s tugging Hyunwoo closer before he’s even aware of it, until their chests are touching, and Hyungwon feels the blood in his body start to rush south. He knows it’s a bad idea, knows he should back off, but it’s Hyunwoo and it’s exciting and he doesn’t really want it to stop.

Hyunwoo's tongue is perfect, probably even better than Hyungwon expected, and Hyungwon’s never thought he’d have this much fun kissing before. Hyunwoo’s hand travels down to the side of Hyungwon’s neck, where his thumb keeps brushing Hyungwon’s jaw. Hyungwon’s never thought of his jaw as a particularly sensitive spot, but each swipe makes him feel more and more boneless.

An alarm clock comes from the room next door, and Hyunwoo—reluctantly, Hyungwon notes—steps away. His hand slides from Hyungwon’s neck and down his arm before he stops and squeezes Hyungwon’s hand. He doesn’t let go. Hyungwon slowly opens his eyes to meet Hyunwoo’s and his stomach gives another nervous lurch. Hyunwoo’s eyes are sleepy, but bright, and his face is flushed, the red spreading up his cheekbones. Hyunwoo’s looking awfully fond, and Hyungwon has a hard time believing it might be because of him. Hyunwoo must just be a morning person.

“So,” Hyungwon laughs, his voice shaky.

“Yup.” Hyunwoo responds, teasing. Hyungwon uses his hand not currently occupied by Hyunwoo’s to swat at his shoulder.

 

* * *

 

Hyungwon thinks that in an ideal world, they’d have time for long, lazy make outs, where they got used to the idea of them being non-platonic before escalating to sex. But what Hyungwon quickly realizes is that long, lazy make out sessions are not an option for them. Along with their busy rehearsal schedules, they also have five other men who demand their attention and definitely notice when they’re gone longer than expected.

Hyunwoo gets pretty creative with Hyungwon in that first week, tugging Hyungwon into secluded corners and bathrooms and closets when they have a spare few minutes. Hyungwon follows suit with light steps every time. It’s fun and spontaneous. It makes Hyungwon feel like he’s sixteen again even when he’s not.

They haven’t told the other boys yet, and though they haven’t talked about doing that, Hyungwon thinks it’ll probably happen at some point. He’s not too worried about it. Mostly he’s just really turned on by the sneaking around and the irregular snogging sessions. The downside of this, however, meaning that he spends most of his days at least half hard, trying to run through every trick to will away or hide his erection.

This time, they’re in a bathroom in the house. Hyungwon is perched on the sink, ankles crossed just below Hyunwoo’s bum, locking him in close. They’re fully clothed, but Hyungwon feels naked, burning up from his organs to his skin. His head is tilted back against the mirror and Hyunwoo’s kissing and nipping at his jugular, trying not to mark it but really, really wanting to. Hyunwoo spares a quick glance at Hyungwon and sees him with his mouth pressed tight, eyes screwed shut, as if he’s holding back. Hyungwon wonders what it’ll be like just to have a few minutes alone with Hyunwoo without him holding back, marking him all over. The thought shakes him.

Feeling cheeky, Hyungwon drops one of his hands down to Hyunwoo’s crotch, and pushes the heel of his hand down. Hyungwon thrills at the fact that Hyunwoo can’t hold back his groan, and when their eyes meet, Hyungwon throws Hyunwoo a wicked grin.

 _“_ Yeah?” he mouths to Hyunwoo, who nods furiously, hands reaching behind him to put in place the hand soap container he had knocked over.

Hyungwon gets off the sink and bends his head down to undo the button to Hyunwoo’s cargo shorts, while Hyunwoo takes the chance to thread a hand in Hyungwon’s hair. Hyungwon’s mind flashes to images of going down on Hyunwoo, and he shudders involuntarily. He’s always been a little bit terrified of what it’d be like to go down on a guy, suspects he might drool too much, but with Hyunwoo he thinks he’d quite like it. He pushes the thoughts away and presses another quick kiss to Hyunwoo’s lips as he slips his hand inside and grasps Hyunwoo’ cock.

Hyunwoo exhales a small puff of air, but other than that, remains quiet. They’ve been gone for a few minutes now, so sooner or later someone is going to come looking for them. Hyungwon knows he has to get Hyunwoo off quickly or else they’ll both be stuck with hard ons for the rest of the day.

Once again, Hyungwon thinks there must be some psychic cosmic link between them, because Hyunwoo seems to realize the same thing and reaches for the waistband of Hyungwon’s sweatpants, tugging them down and reaching inside quickly.

Hyungwon feels like the air got punched out of him a little bit.

Hyungwon has quite a bit of experience with masturbation, having kept up a healthy schedule for the last three and a half years. He thinks that giving a hand job will be just like that, except maybe in reverse. What Hyungwon didn’t think about, but he’s just now comprehending, is how hard it would be to focus on his technique when he has Hyunwoo’s hand on him as well. He’s having a hard time keeping his grip on Hyunwoo firm when he feels like his head is swimming with the feeling of Hyunwoo on him. It feels like every circle jerk porn he’s ever watched lied to him a little bit.

Hyungwon leans his head against Hyunwoo’s, thankful for their similar height and tries to focus in on making Hyunwoo feel good. Hyungwon can tell his own breath is coming heavier, and that he’s not doing so well in terms of keeping quiet, but he figures as long as he’s not shouting or moaning or breaking anything, he’s still pretty subtle.

“Shownu hyuuuuuuung!” someone shouts from down the hallway. Hyungwon’s never been a particularly violent person, but he’s sure that no one could blame him for the murderous thoughts that go through his brain in that moment.

“Hyung, you in there?” the voice says. It’s Jooheon, and he sounds like he’s right outside the door. Both Hyungwon and Hyunwoo’s hands still, but their grips remain. They look in each other’s’ eyes as if to will the other to come up with a solution.

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo calls back. When Hyungwon shoots him a warning glare, Hyunwoo’s shoulders come up as if to challenge him to have come up with a better response.

“Have you seen Hyungwon?” Jooheon calls from the other side of the door.

“No!” Hyunwoo shouts in response, definitely too quickly. Hyungwon almost slaps himself in the forehead for that one.

“Er, alright. You okay?” Almost any other time, Hyungwon would coo about Jooheon being so caring and concerned. Right now, however, Hyungwon is more preoccupied with his mid-game hand job. Hyungwon holds back a laugh and slides his fist back up Hyunwoo’s length. He prays the noise isn’t obvious.

“Yes, Jooheon. I’m great,” Hyunwoo grits out. He then promptly gives up. “I’m kind of, uh, in the middle of jerking off, Jooheon, so... please go away.”

Hyungwon has to try really hard to hold back that laugh, using his left hand to cover his own mouth. He can tell Jooheon hesitates on what to say next.

“Okay, hyung. Thanks for that information that I did not needed. Have fun,” he responds, uninterested, before he runs back down the hallway. Hyungwon waits until he can hear Jooheon’s sneakered feet hit the bottom step before he turns back to Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes and then leans back in to kiss Hyungwon, slipping in tongue before their lips even meet. Hyunwoo twists his wrist, and Hyungwon stops thinking.

 

* * *

 

The nice thing about being with Hyunwoo—whatever that means, is that kissing is a cherry on top of a very wonderful cake. Because with Hyunwoo, he has a best friend, a singing partner, and a confidant. He also has someone who knows first-hand what his O face looks like. Hyunwoo also has a chiseled jaw and a toned stomach and gorgeous tanned skin for someone so Korean and Hyungwon thinks he’s way too fit to be hanging around him. Yet, somehow he is.

So even when they’re not kissing, Hyungwon gets to spend time with Hyunwoo, and he still loves it. Hyungwon finds it kind of amazing, actually.

This time, they’re in the bedroom, more or less cuddling on Hyunwoo’s bed. The other five members are spread out across the house, with Wonho being teased by Changkyun and Jooheon, and Kihyun and Minhyuk most likely bickering somewhere. The door to the bedroom is open, so Hyungwon doesn’t want to risk getting frisky, but them cuddling is routine enough that nothing looks suspicious. Hyungwon likes that. He doesn’t want anyone coming in to ruin their mood though. He thinks they deserve this happiness a little bit longer.

“I’m glad we’re us,” Hyunwoo whispers, as if he’s revealing some big secret.

Hyungwon lifts his head from where it’s resting on Hyunwoo’s chest. He pokes at Hyunwoo’s rib cage a little bit, giggling as Hyunwoo pretends to squirm. “Me too.”

Hyungwon spares a glance back at the open door, and then back to Hyunwoo.

“Do you think we should tell the others?”

Hyunwoo’s face doesn’t go dark, but Hyungwon can tell that Hyunwoo isn’t thrilled by the idea.

“I mean, probably, yeah. They’re going to be pissed we were hiding it,” Hyunwoo says, pushing Hyungwon’s fringe back.

“They’ll understand.”

Hyunwoo hums under his breath.

Hyungwon looks at him. He looks like he wants to say something, and Hyungwon feels scared for what it might be. They haven’t really talked about ‘them’ since the first night in the kitchen. They chose to express their affections physically, which while feeling really, really good, meant that he had no idea how Hyunwoo was feeling about all of this. He hopes it’s good, thinks it’s good... but part of him worries Hyunwoo’s not quite in as deep as he is.

“I don’t know how it is for you, but I’m scared. I mean, I don’t care, but I’m worried of what others might say.”

“It’s okay to feel that way.” Hyungwon manages to say, but Hyunwoo cuts him off.

“No, I mean, ugh, how do I say this...” he trails off. He looks thoughtful for a second, and then opens his mouth to continue. “Since I was sixteen, people have been worried for me, asking me why I haven’t been with anyone, and like assuming that I was gay when I kept silent. It’s just…ugh, I wouldn’t give you up for anything and you’re the first person to ever make me feel this way but it just makes me embarrassed that I couldn’t have find it out earlier, or at least know what I was on my own.”

Hyungwon doesn’t know what to say to that, really. He feels his throat tighten, and the urge to protect Hyunwoo twanging through his veins.

“I wish I could help you feel better by saying that I’m glad I helped you find out,” is what comes out.

Hyungwon’s felt possessive of just about every friend he’s ever had, and he’s felt more than protective over Hyunwoo since meeting him. But what Hyungwon had never known before was just how deeply a secret could impact his affection for someone.

Hyungwon knows what this feeling is, especially as it grows and threatens to take over every vital organ of his body like an invasive plant. It’s not just possessiveness or lust or fondness. Hyunwoo has uncovered all the sides of him, from the boy who focuses on his dance a lot to the quiet, bashful person he is as a leader of their group. Hyungwon thinks he is all the more wonderful for it.

Hyunwoo laughs—Hyungwon lets it slide that the laugh is a bit watery—and then swiftly pulls Hyungwon on top of him so he’s straddling the older man. Hyungwon throws his head back automatically, lets out a small giggle in response, but doesn’t move away.

“Eh, let them watch,” Hyunwoo says, nodding his head towards the door. Hyungwon beams, and then leans up and starts sucking at Hyunwoo’s Adam’s apple.

 

* * *

 

When the comeback’s coming right around the corner, Hyunwoo as a leader feels helpless. He’s starting to get tired, frustrated with everything that’s not going right, and he misses his parents.

“Looks like I have a grumpy boyfriend,” Hyungwon whispers into Hyunwoo’s ear, which makes Hyunwoo flinch. Boyfriend. That’s new.

Hyungwon slowly regrets saying anything when he sees Hyunwoo’s looking at him with his eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” Hyunwoo asks, feigning innocence.

“Nothing,” Hyungwon says. He doesn’t even bother checking to see if anyone else is around before he leans in to kiss Hyunwoo. Hyungwon grins into it.

Hyunwoo goes in for several quick pecks before spinning away.

“Let’s find Kihyun and Wonho and run through the vocals again. Then we should reward ourselves. I’ll give you a blow job in the toilet later?” Hyungwon tugs on Hyunwoo’s hand a little.

“Kihyun hyung! Wonho hyung!” Hyungwon bellows, jumping out of the room to find them. “Where the hell are you?”

Rehearsing again (but most likely the anticipation of sex) seems to do the trick, since it’s all Hyungwon can do to keep from grinning as he sings and relaxes for a bit as he’s not thinking of what frustrating him.

Instead, he thinks about the man who makes him happy with the simple things in life.

 

* * *

 

“Nineteen!” Hyunwoo calls, pumping his fist. He steps back, aims, and tosses another kernel of popcorn towards Hyungwon.

Hyungwon ducks but manages to get the kernel in his mouth.

“Twenty!” Wonho booms.

They’re in the middle of a break at the studio, recording a track Jooheon composed for their new album, and Minhyuk has just finished popping a bag of microwave popcorn. The smell of butter and salt hangs heavy in the air, but the boys are much more focused in on their competition.

“Twenty-one breaks Hoseok’s record,” Minhyuk adds.

Hyungwon immediately takes this as an issue of personal pride. He stretches his arms and legs, and gives his head a few quick shakes to get him in the zone. He crouches, feet apart similar to his shoulders, bracing himself for the winning shot.

He smirks at Hyunwoo and lets his mouth fall open. He doesn’t think about it too much, too focused on winning the game, but Hyunwoo’s eyes go a bit glassy, and Hyungwon’s gotten pretty familiar with that look in the last couple of weeks.

Hyunwoo aims and shoots, but the kernel goes too high, bouncing off Hyungwon’s forehead and dropping to the floor before Hyungwon can recover.

Wonho, Minhyuk and Changkyun all break out into cheers when it happens, with Minhyuk practically jumping on Wonho’s back.

“Fucker!” Hyungwon laughs, lightly kicking at Hyunwoo’s bum. “You totally sabotaged me!”

“I did no such thing!” Hyunwoo contests. “It’s your fault with your dumb mouth!”

“You know it’s not dumb,” Hyungwon responds, but he smiles smugly, knowing Hyunwoo was so focused on him.

 

* * *

 

Hyungwon hasn’t said it out loud yet, but he knows this is love. It’s as much about love as it is about sex and about friendship and about music and naps.

The morning of the comeback comes and they’re getting ready, trying to remember who owns what and whose hoodie that Hyungwon wore all the damn time originally was. Hyungwon personally thinks it’s all a bit silly, because he’s still going to wear it again the next time, so it might as well just be his forever.

They take a short break and sit around the kitchen because it’s one of the rooms that is actually pretty decent.

“Hyung,” Hyungwon whines, flinging his arm out uselessly, “Make me a cup of hot chocolate please.”

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes, but turns to fill up the kettle.

The kitchen goes kind of quiet, but Hyungwon’s too busy watching the line of Hyunwoo’s back to notice.

“You’ve got the boyfriend trained pretty well, huh,” Kihyun says, smiling.

“I try,” Hyungwon responds, bowing his head slightly. Hyunwoo doesn’t say anything, but Hyungwon thinks his smile says it all.

Hyungwon’s not sure if the butterflies in his stomach will ever calm down, if he’ll ever get a full eight hours of sleep again, or if he’ll ever be able to listen to a love song without the low thrum of Hyunwoo echoing in his brain. Hyungwon knows it’s worth it, though.

For all he was scared of feeling transparent before, Hyungwon feels even more transparent now. But what’s more is that despite feeling more obvious, he feels less scared. Hyungwon may not have everything in his life figured out, but he knows that he doesn’t ever have to worry about Hyunwoo’s feelings for him anymore. Hyunwoo puts himself out there in the little ways that take time to notice. Hyunwoo confesses his fears, and is the first to openly claim Hyungwon. Hyungwon enjoys the way their bodies automatically react to each other whenever they touch.

Hyungwon knows he affects Hyunwoo just as much.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoy. let me kno what u think and feel free to reach me whenever!!!! thanks for reading <3
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> [ tweet ](http://www.twitter.com/punctualpizza) me or maybe hmu on [ tumblr ](http://nashaloof.tumblr.com) if u wanna


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